The Airing of the Grievances | 2017

The Airing of the Grievances | 2017

I’ve got a lot of problems with you people…and now you’re gonna hear about it!

As always, I try my best not to spend the whole year bitching and complaining about things that bother me. (Sometimes I’m obviously more successful than others.)  Instead, I save them up and let them all out on this special holiday. For a list of last year’s Grievances, lookahere.

THIS YEAR I have 17 Grievances which must be Aired:

Rabid Political Partisanship and Those Who Promote It.

Occasionally, I will make an online comment about how much I hate political partisanship, and how blind it makes us to creative solutions to the problems that affect our pluralistic society, and inevitably, within MINUTES of me posting someone will jump in and say something like, “Yeah! Fuck those Republitard hypocrites and their shit king, Donald Trump!”  No Dude. No.

YOU are the one who is pissing me off. Not the Republitards. Not Donald Trump. (Well, yes, they do piss me off, but for different reasons).

This Grievance is FOR YOU. Because you have no self-awareness and cannot see that there is an entire spectrum of people across the American political landscape who have reasons for not agreeing with you 100%. You. Are the problem. And even when I agree with you on policy, I consider you a political liability. Which you are.

Everyone Riding Donald Trump’s Twitter Dick.

Donald Trump is an attention whore and a bully. You are empowering him (whether you like him or not) by elevating every one of his  horrible fucking tweets and spending valuable time and energy talking about him rather than focusing on the infinite number of other horrible things being done by people in other political positions. If we payed even HALF the time fighting for Net Neutrality and against Tax Cuts as we do hating on Donald Jackass Trump we would be closing out this year in a lot better shape. Block him, and get to work, people.

Men who sexually harass, exploit, and assault people over whom they have power.

To those who have been called into public account this year? HA HA. Go sit in a corner and think about what a shithead you are. For those who haven’t been called out yet? There’s blood in the water, motherfuckers, and it’s just a matter of time. Get ready. #metoo

Outrage As Distraction

Are you a person who logs into social media each day to find out how you can avoid doing anything important/useful by just getting pissed off at whatever is trending that day? Do yourself and democracy a favor – go log off for an hour and read The Boy Who Cried Wolf, and then make yourself a list of priorities.

Fake Fucking News.

There’s a difference between a Journalist and a Blogger. There’s a difference between editorial content and news. There’s a difference between facts and opinions. There’s a difference between professionally researched and reported content that adheres to standards of journalistic ethics and the 85% of the shit you’re sharing. F.Y.I.

Multi-Level Marketing.

I don’t want any of it. I don’t want to buy it, sell it, or share it. I am offended by it as a business practice, and I think it encourages anti-social behavior.

Ideological Purists.

Political, religious or otherwise. Please folks, join us here on Planet Earth where reality is messy and compromise is how you actually get shit done.

Internet Mobs.

There is a not-so-fine-line between online activism and mob mentality. Learn it.

Raisins.

As always, fuck raisins.

Double Standards.

If you oppose the idea of people doing shitty things, but then make excuses for some of them because of their race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, socio-economic status, religion, relationship to you, or how hot they are? You cannot be taken seriously.

Anti-Feminists. Especially the Religious Kind.

I get that some people feel the need to suppress the rights of women because their own identity is built on gender roles that give them a sense of purpose and self-worth. But those people are wrong. And also, using God to justify misogyny is pathetic. We all know that you are operating from a place of fear and insecurity, not holiness. You aren’t convincing anyone but yourselves. And your kids are probably going to grow up to be huge feminists. So hahahahaha.

People that feel the need to tsk tsk my robust use of Social Media and Admonish Me for “Oversharing”.

I can assure you that there are a WHOLE lot of things I am NOT sharing on social media. Some of them are about you. Be thankful.

People Who Don’t Like My Use of Colorful Language on Social Media.

You should just go ahead and unfollow/block me. Because I’m not going to stop fucking swearing. Ever. I fucking LOVE it.

People Who Think They Can Shame Me With My Own Story.

Bitches, please.

People Who Consistently Underestimate Me.

Actually, on second thought. I love you guys. You rarely give me any resistance and make it easier for me to get where I’m going. Keep it up!

The Demonization of People Who Don’t Agree With You.

I know this is going to be shocking to a lot of folks, but guess what? Not everyone who disagrees with you is a bad person. They may not even be stupid. They might actually have a completely different frame of reference and some good reasons for the conclusions they’ve drawn. When you feel the need to demonize people who disagree with you, it makes me think you don’t know WHY you believe what you do, and have to rely on intellectually stunted tactics to feel better about your position.

Overly-familiar Email Subject Lines

If you are not a 14-year-old, don’t use “hey” as an email subject line. Or “what’s up?” Or anything that makes it seem like we’re going to hang out at the mall and eat pretzels while checking out the new line of anime-super-hero-cat socks at Hot Topic. KTHXBAI.